Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
