I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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