I just threw up on my dentist
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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