He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
