I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize