Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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