Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
