Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
