she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
