He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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