PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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