They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
