the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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