I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
