I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
