Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i think im in europe. pls send help
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
