hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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