I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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