You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
