so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize