He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
