I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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