I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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