I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Less talking, more tequila
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
