I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
