hotel room ftw
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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