Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
