This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
