He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
