hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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