He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
