When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
