Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
