I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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