Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
