She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
