May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
