Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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