I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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