I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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