We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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