plz talk dirty to me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i now understand why vodka
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize