Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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