oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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