I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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