i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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