We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we're making bets on your personal life
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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