I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
