she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
