we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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