hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
