peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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