Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
