PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
