Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
