get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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