You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
