I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
