Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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